Moment of Reflection within a vacuum of emotion
Always a trip to come back to this website and come back to the same feeling and mindset I had back in highschool which is when I was fairly active on here. Could most likely be due to the fact that I don’t frequent the website as much as I used to so all that’s left are the feelings from before, life has changed so much from the last time i wrote a text post on here. shit man its changed so drastically since the last repost I did. Is that change good? is it bad? I think assigning a such a one sided feeling to the past is simplifying all that’s ocurred, Rather the past is far more complex than that. I think its been a multitude of things, things I smile at, laugh at, cry at, say fuck at, facepalm at, etc… but all of which I don’t regret. Is there any aim or goal to this rant? no not necessarily. I think in some aspect I’m fulfilling multiple needs and functions I think I haven’t even noticed, Hell i could be breaking down mentally from this current state of mind and I wouldn’t even notice it because this post is just to help me pass boredom while I delve into the lives of others and lowkey desire the lives and aspirations of people that aren’t me. All this while i wonder why I am the way I am, why I do the things I do to my friends, why I deeply question my reasons for being friends with anyone at all, and why I’m still awake at this hour. 4AM can really fuck you up you know?